At crosses on California beach
mother talks of her dead soldier son

"He came back from his third tour in the Iraq War, he was fine. He'd been here about six
months, had enlisted for the FBI, but two days before Christmas, he was feeling very
depressed. The sad thing is that he made it here OK on the outside, but the world doesn't
see what war does to your spirit and to who you are.  
 
"He killed himself in his bedroom two days before Christmas…and his nine year old son
found him in the bedroom. He had taken his gun and he blew his brains out. His son tried
to put them back in and tried to repair him before he went and got his grandmother from
the other room. At first we were very unclear on why he killed himself, but we found his
Bible and a note—  
 
"The note said when he went out on tour in Iraq, he did things that were not good. They
killed kids, children. No one there had respect for life in general. No matter what, even
though these people are from another country, they are still human beings, innocent
human beings and he couldn't handle it. He was a man of honor, respect, very proud
family man and he couldn't handle it. So when he came back on December 24th, 2006,
he committed suicide in Wilmington, California. He wrote that he had killed children,
seen children murdered on the street, and seen the dead as they drove by in their Hummer…
a lot of horror, misery and no respect for anything.  
 
"At first, he was really 'GUNG HO!' about going and he was proud to go, proud to be
military, proud to fight for our country, proud to fight for other people's freedom. But a
couple years into it, he started realizing, "When are we going to stop? We won the war
already, how come we're still there?" He didn't understand.  
 
"Coming back here to civilian life, he had no help for the emotional… If you're a man,
you've just got to handle your emotions, you're not allowed to say exactly how you feel.
It's supposed to be on the hush because you're a proud strong, military man. And when
you come back and you feel emotional, you don't have anyone to turn to, nobody to talk
to…you just have to deal with it.  
 
"His nine year old boy is heartbroken, he's horrible. He says he wants to go with his Dad.
He understands the meaning of death and the meaning of suicide…he wants to die too,
he wants to go to Heaven with his Dad.”
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