Martian anthropologists
solve undocumented
immigrant “problem”
(Latest report from Mars to Elfie)

The stupidity of you earthens never ceases to amaze us. You seem
always to get tied into philosophical , political knots over the simplest
of so-called problems.

A recent example is the great “controversy” in California over illegal-
undocumented immigrants. You are going at this alleged issue all backwards.
It’s as if you don’t really want to get rid of these immigrants. Seems to us
you just want to gripe about it and let it be.

After careful psychological examination we have concluded that hate immigrants
complex is driven by a deepseated unhappiness with your own personal lives. We
did extensive soul depth polling with surprising results. We found that 76.85% of
you Californians know you are unhappy and know why.You blame the big money
interests who are exporting jobs, slashing wages, cutting support for education
and other social programs so they can wage endless war which kills your sons
and daughters for their profit,


These realizations anger you but you are afraid to do anything real
about it. That’s because 98% of you believe if you move against big money you
will be crushed. But your anger must be vented, so you direct it at undocumented
immigrants - not because they are a threat, but because they are not a threat. In
your venacular attacking immigrants is a cheap shot.

This cheap shot leads you into crazy, self-destructive things like denying them
drivers’ licenses, health benefits and education — as if these fairy tale measures
would through some magic drive these undesirables away. The driver
license issue is especially self-destructive because it guarantees that your roads
will be driven by untrained drivers sneaking around in fear to get kids to school,
go to work.

Work. Now we are at the root of immigration so-called problem. Undocumented
immigrants are in California for jobs. They don’t create these jobs. Businesses do.
So if you really want to get rid of immigrants you would deny them jobs here,
and help them get real jobs at home instead of sweatshop labor created by your
American rich. One very simple procedure to stop immigrant jobs in California:
revoke the drivers’ licenses of any business that hires undocumentedimmigrants.
If such a law were really enforced the hiring of undocumented immigrants
would cease.

However much work would not get done. You would have to plant and pick your
own food, and make your own beds at the motel, and cook your own food, and
wash your own dishes at that high class restaurant, on and on.

Or wages would go so high you couldn’t afford high class, high wage eating¿?

Perhaps a more reasonable and fair way to proceed would be:

(1) get into the root of your anger
(2) join with undocumented immigrants and others being exploited by big money
and move to help heal the rich of their obsession with greed and control.

Possible. And even if not realized fully, Elfie assures us that such a dance is
more fun than despairing in a pit of anger and fear.

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