Martian anthropologists
blast Elfie, push invading israel
The Martian anthropologists who regularly advise Elfie on the foibles of earthen life have blasted Elfie
on his recent call for a U.S. invasion of China. Read Elfie’s white paper.

The Martians claim that invading China would run counter a long-standing policy of the U.S. military-
industrial complex (MIC). According to the Martians, the MIC has a firm dictum which requires that
they destroy nations they have financed and armed. In their long diatribe against Elfie, the Martians
explained, “This kill your friends policy is well thought out and logical based on two self-interests of
the MIC:

“(1) Enlarging and enriching the war industries in the U.S.

“(2) Asserting and re-asserting U.S. military power and arms industry.”

“Israel is now the greatest threat to these two interests. That country has received more U.S.military
aid than any other country. It has atomic weapons. It is becoming a viable military power in its own

“It is true that Iraq also was armed and supported by MIC for many years also, but now is so weak from
the Gulf war and 10 years of bombing that it poses little threat to MIC’s ascendancy and offers no
market for MIC’s war industry.”

“Iraq is definitely a secondary target compared to Israel. Israel is the prime target. By destroying
Israel MIC would find another great market for their war industries, because another MIC
priority is rebuilding nations they have destroyed.Just good business.

“A probable and immense side benefit of destroying Irsael might be that the process would
totally undermine the Arab terrorists trying to attack MIC.”

That summarizes the Martian attack on Elfie who comments, “These guys sound like they’ve been
taking convoluted Byzantine lessons from MIC. This is particularly sad because many of their
studies of earthen foibles is right on.”

See Martian report: “All earthen sweat is not created equal.”

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